Describing Hagbane

Yesterday we used the wicked old crone from our performance to describe in writing. Jessie played this character so well in the pantomime. Here are some for you to read:

Hagbane by Drew
Hagbane is gross and revolting. She lives in the Great Forest of Allemore. She always wears a black pointy hat and a cloak as dark as the night. Hagbane smells like sewer water. If anyone gets near they'll get knocked out. Hagbane has warts as big as cherry bombs and lime green skin with lemon yellow, crooked teeth. Her laugh is so evil that even the bravest person would run and cry, "Mummy." She has a long nose, so long that she could smell things miles away.

Hagbanes Doom by Himaya
Hagbane was a wicked old hag who lived in the forest of Allemore, she tried to steal the magical merestone from the forest. She succeeded on her mission and the forest began to die.

Hagbane had plaquey, yellow teeth and they were as crooked as a mountain range. She had wrinkles as deep as craters from frowning too much.

She wore clothes as black as the night sky and her hair had one misty, grey streak in it. Her skin was pale like someone who was sick. She smelt appalling and she has a disgraceful attitude.

When she came by she made you feel disgusted and petrified. Her voice was so croaky and oh boy could she shout!

That Hagbane... I do NOT like her!


Hagbane by Jessie
Hagbane was a wicked, old witch who lived in a castle in the Forest of Allemore. She wore a long black dress with long night black hair which also had streaks of silver in it and lots of tugs. She wore a black bandana with gold stars on it. She also wore lots of make-up. She had bright green blush and hard, green eyeshadow. She had lots of eye liner and blood red lipstick with a light coloured face. Ohhh that ugly crone!

Kiwiana Writing

Well done to Himaya who really thought carefully and followed instructions today in writing. Here is her show not tell description about Kiwiana. The children were not allowed to tell the reader what they were writing about until the end of their description.

The balls of whero burst from the sweet smelling branches. The strands of red are all in beautiful bunches.

The branches spread out over me and the flower strands sprinkle over my blowing hair.

The smells of fresh leaves and old bark stop my in my tracks.

Leaves rustle and flutter to the ground in the cool breeze.

Pohutakawa, the beautiful tree of New Zealand.

Winter Writing

This week we have been focussing on writing vivid, interesting descriptions. We are trying really hard to show not tell the reader. We have been using our five senses to help us form ideas. Check out some of the pieces below. They really paint a picture in our mind with words.


"The morning coldness of fog crept through the tight gap in the fogged up window. I step outside and see valleys of pure white. The crisp, fluffy snow crunches under my numb feet. The puddles of glistening ice crackles as I lay a foot on it. The very shallow puddles are violently slippery. The cool airy feeling is swirling around me. It's too cold to be hanging out in the soft powder. I step back inside and the smokey, blazing fire is cracking away. As I take a sip of my boiling hot chocolate my throat feels like needles are stabbing me."
By Zak

"A powdery white blanket surrouds me. Snowflakes are falling on every tree in town. Every step I take I hear a crunch like someone crunching a hard lolly. My toes go numb each time my teeth chatter. Sad trees drooping with all the sparkly snow flakes that it can carry. Snowmen are everywhere. People throw snowballs at each other."
By Ella

"Snowflakes were drifting down on the white glistening street as I step outside onto the blanket of fluffy snow. Crunch, crunch, crunch under my boots. The snow-ice crushes under me. I breath in cold air, a shiver runs down my spine. Naked trees are reaching over me as I walk on the dark, gloomy street. I walk home to have a hot chocolate with marshmallows and sit next to a crackling fire."
By Kate

"The cold, blizzardy snow glitters like crystals being formed in a crystal cave. The icy air fills my body with happiness. The cold powder flies around like fairies jumping with joy. Everyday I see the soft, fluffy snow waiting for me. The sullen wind is leaving. I go home to sit by the fire."
By Kit

"The bitter feeling is dreadful as I hurdle down the mountain. My cheeks are as red as roses and the powder is waist high. A powdery, glittery snow day with deep footprints. Skiiers whizz down slopes as fast as rockets. As my hand digs into the powder it feels like needles stabbing into my hand."
By Jack

Fairy Tales

Click on the pictures to be taken to some fun writing websites.

Narrative Writing Success Criteria

We are writing fairy tales for narrative writing over the next two weeks. We have come up with the following success criteria to follow to ensure we write the best we can.

Shanae's Haunted House Writing

When I tiptoed up the overgrown footpath an owl hooted in the darkness, a shiver ran down my spine. I jumped when I heard screams and saw a bat flying around the top of the house. There was a storm outside. When I walked on the floor, it creaked. I went further on and the lights where flicking on and off. There were spiderwebs all around the light switch. Skeletons were everywhere. They were even hanging from the roof.

Cameron's Dragon Writing

My dragon is green, blue and red. He is strong enough to lift a house! His teeth are made of pure iron. His teeth can even switch to iron, stone, gold, diamond and silver. He has wings that ram rocks in half. His power is shooting pure, electric, fire breath that can burn through anything.

Oscar's Words Alive Writing

The Kit Kat group worked hard to edit Oscar's writing last week. We focussed on choosing strong adjectives to describe nouns. Here is the finished piece:

I was diving in the rough but precious coral. There was a school of colourful, stripy and spotted fish, darting between murky green seaweed. Shiny, grey dolphins squeaked loudly to each other. Gigantic Manta Rays were gliding along the surface then I looked down. There were two dark shadows as black as bats swimming quickly towards a group of pink seahorses. They swam away. The two shadows were freaky White Tipped Reef sharks.
By Oscar

Kahu's Spooky Story

Today in the Moro's Words Alive group we worked with the teacher to make Kahu's writing even better than it already was. We focussed on varying our sentence beginnings, sampling misspelt words and including strong adjectives in our writing. Here is the finished product:


I slowly tip-toed up the overgrown footpath. An owl hooted then I found myself right next to a haunted house! I saw a goblin, I turned back then it was gone. I was terrified. I heard a screech. It came from inside the house! All of a sudden I knew I had to do something. I barged in the door when I heard a screeching laugh. The door locked up. After that I knew this was a horrible place to be. A shiver sped up my spine, then a goblin attacked me!

By Kahu